Flat tire, anyone?

So when I wanted today to be a better day, I was not counting on having a flat tire!
Less than impressed with having one. My hubby asks "how did you get a flat tire?" Me- "umm I ran over something?" HIM- "what did you run over?" I shake my head and say "well if I knew what it was I would have avoided it." Sheesh!! For crying out loud, if he was not so cute...

So I went to the tire store and of course it could not be patched it had to be replaced! So now I am $92.00 in the hole. It sucks bad! There goes that really cute new pair of shoes that I had planned on sneaking in.

You know that old saying that "what else could go wrong?" yah I am not saying that at all, cause looking at my luck it will get worse. Way worse. Now I am counting down the minutes to lunch time because I am starving! Starving!!!!

Rain, Rain GO AWAY!

Ok do you remember that song as a child? The rain is driving me crazy! I mean I live in the Sunshine State, for crying out loud. I am sick of the rain.

Ok on to better topics to discuss. Well maybe not better just different. I have decided every day is an adventure when you are the mother of a five year old diva. Finally Sunday we decided to carve those pumpkins we bought the night of the monsoon.

No big deal, you would think, yeah you would be wrong. Together the diva and I decide that it would be a normal face, you know triangles for eyes and nose and a mouth with teeth. Pretty normal, well until I got it open and asked the Diva to help me scoop the “innards” out. She immediately screams I am not touching that it’s gross!!! Well here comes the dog. He begins to bark and runs over to where I have scooped out the inside and takes a big bite. Then he runs off for a moment. Meanwhile there is someone at the front gate that is trying to get me to change my religion asking me if my parents are home. Oh and I did I mention that the dog came back and barfed up the pumpkin that he ate, next to the front door. Then my husband comes out of the back yard and asks if he can help. My first thought is who to kill first and where do I hide the body.

Somehow I managed to get all of that settled. 7:30 rolls around (my favorite time of day – the diva goes to bed and I go get a nice relaxing bath!). That was the plan anyway. My husband also known as the human stain on the sofa decides we need to fold laundry. My point is that laundry has been there since Friday and has not bothered a soul, does he really think that it is now going to bother me. I gave him that look, apparently he gets the idea!

Had it not been for the wine and culinary festival Sunday would have sucked. But hey it was not all bad where else do they serve mimosa’s for three hours and you make your husband drive home?

A monsoon, a pumpkin, and a pitchfork... oh my!

Ok today was a freaking monsoon. Yes I know I live in Florida and we have hurricanes but I like the word monsoon better. Now I know most people would stay home in a monsoon and I am normally one of those, but I had to go to the Wal-Mart. It was a trip that no matter how hard I tried to delegate it, the hubby completely refused. Now you may be curious as to why I would trek out in the middle of a monsoon. A PUMPKIN, that’s why, a stupid damn pumpkin. Well all week I tried to buy my Diva a pumpkin for school- by the way what happened to bringing candy corn. I mean it’s easy to find and whole lighter to carry, especially in the rain.

So, the Diva and I are in the Wal-Mart and she decides she needs to go ahead and get her Halloween costume. Ok that’s works for me. However she has decided that she wants to be a skelton. At this point I am like you know, whatever makes you happy I could care less. Yah, we can not find a skeleton costume anywhere. We searched everywhere. Nothing, plenty of fairies, plenty of witches, but not a single solitary skeleton to be found in the Wal-Mart. Well after much crying and threatening we finally decide that being a devil demon is just as good as being a skeleton. So we picked out the costume and she informed me that she needed a pitchfork. I tried to argue her down, but it was nearly 7pm and I was tired of it so yes we came home with a pitchfork.

By the way it's nearly 10pm and yes the monsoon is still with me. I suppose I will take a canoe to work tomorrow.

All I want for Christmas is…

So… on the way to school this morning my Diva decided it was time to make out her Santa list. Yes just what I wanted to hear, I mean for crying out loud I barely have last years paid off and yet here we are time to go again. Well I tell her I am game lets hear it.

Keep in mind she is 5!
Well number one is an Iphone.” I told her no. She then whines, “But Mom I need a phone I may need to call someone. I shake my head and say “Any time you are with someone they have a phone you are fine.” More whining, “But Mom what about calling my friends?” “You are 5; none of your friends have a phone either. Get over it, next item!”
“Well I want an IPOD.” I shake my head. She has been asking for an IPOD since she was 3. Santa may actually bring her one this year. She keeps talking… “and a gameboy advance, and a PSP (by the way I have no idea what a PSP is…) and piranha panic, a chia pet.” I stop and her and say “what?” She gives me that ‘you are a moron look’ and says “You know that little plant that grows and then you can cut it off yeah I need one of those.” I continue to drive to school, in the rain and listen. “oh and last I want a Venus Flytrap.”

Ok here I nearly wreck the car cause my 5 year old has asked for a Venus flytrap. I of course ask “Did you just say a Venus Flytrap?”
“Yeah Mom, you know that plant that eats flies? I need one of them.”
Finally we pull up that school and I say “Why do you want one.”
She sighs really loud and says “Well you know sometimes I get a fly in my room and it can eat it.”

She then gets out and grabs her backpack and waits for me to walk her in.

Ok so these are my thoughts, what 5 year old needs a Venus Flytrap? I mean come on. A Venus flytrap, I know she is crazy but this is a little too far for even her. I ain’t buying my five year a carnivorous plant for Christmas, not no way, not no how.

All the other kids are doing it!

So... I thought I would start out with a story about my little diva! She has quite an imagination. One of the many things other than work, husband, child, on and on that takes up my time is Daisies, otherwise known as the pee-wee version of Girl Scouts. My 5 year old (who will tell you in a hot minute she is 5.5) is yes a Daisy. So in addition to learning her ABC’s and 123’s in kindergarten she has to learn the Girl Scout motto. She is less than interested. She has some of it down but not all of it. So… we are at the Daisy meeting and they go over the motto with the new girls and then they start learning this new song and dance. It’s about a beaver (what a beaver has to do with being a girl scout I have no clue- but I digress) the leader is teaching it to them, while I try to get in some last minute work. Looking up I notice my little Diva is not only not trying to learn the song and dance; she is standing there with this look of horror on her face.

The leader: “What is wrong?”
My Diva: “I am not doing that.”
The leader: “Why not, its fun.”
Me -- At this point I chime in “Yes, honey you should do it.”
My Diva -- wrinkles up her nose and says “There is no way that I am going to do that.”
The leader: “why not, I am.”
My Diva: “yah and you look RIDICULOUS!”
The Leader – standing with her mouth open probably trying to figure out how she can smack my diva around with out ticking me off (not sure on that but I did see that look on her face – you know the one my family refers to as that pissy look I get sometimes)
Me – trying to keep a straight face: “Sweetie all the other kids are doing it”
My diva – who gives an exasperated sigh, says “Yah but Mom you said just because all the other kids jump off a bridge doesn’t mean I should!”
Me – Damn she’s got me there.

Needless to say she did not participate in the beaver song and dance!